Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Cold, The Mad & The Ugly

A typically crappy Atlanta winter day
It's a miserable day here in Atlanta, what with plummeting temperatures and the white stuff fluttering through the air. It's cold, but that's a relative term, what folks consider to be cold here is spring like weather in some of the other paces I've lived. Scotland, my home country, has a cold, wet, and miserably damp climate that seeps through to your bones and refuses to leave. Check out the picture of a typical day in Glasgow....

Scotland...wetter than an excited bride

From there I moved to Calgary, Canada, where winter weather consists of heinous amounts of snow and negative temperatures that will freeze your snot before the salty goodness reaches your top lip. It has a winter that you think is never going to end, although you do get the occasional reprise when a chinook (a warm wind that blows in from the Rockies) hits the city and raises temps overnight. Still, for the most part it's unbearable.....look at the next pic and see what I mean...

Calgary...colder than the milk from a witch's tit

And then there is my current home in Metro Atlanta. Most of the year is spent in temperatures that make you feel as though you are a duffel coat wearing marathon runner. Hot, humid and swampy, the kind of heat that forces you to change your soggy underpants a couple of times a day (honestly, it's the heat, not incontinence). But every so often, we get a little cold snap and people go insane. Xmas shopping has been delayed in favor of buying flats of bottled water and pallets of canned stew which they hope will get them through the next 24 hours of slightly above freezing temps. That madness has rolled over to our local McDonalds where a sign at the drive thru read, "we have no McGriddles of ANY KIND" (seriously). I can hear the conversation now...I need 24 dozen sausage mcgriddles to get me through the storm...we have no mcgriddles left....okay, make it bacon instead. I plan to avoid the impending temperature apocalypse by staying home, watching football and drinking beer....hmmm, and maybe ingesting a Mcgriddle from the 60 I have stored in the freezer.


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