Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Mind Is Willing

It's another glorious Tuesday here in the ATL. The sun is shining, soccer is on TV, and I am enjoying my day off work. It is a much needed day given my ever increasing list of aches and pains, all work related. The most recent of these ailment is a dodgy lower back, not ridiculously painful, but enough to have me scrambling for some Advil. It's no real surprise given the rigorous lifting nature of my job, as well as my advancing years.

A lot of these issues are in my head. Don't get me wrong, i don't mean that I am imagining some sort of phantom pain, but inside that twisted little noggin of mine lies the belief that I am still in my 20's. A simple turn of thought can place a flowing mane of mullet-styled locks on my bald head, can shave 30lbs off my expanding waistline, and can remove my, ever so trendy, eyeglasses with 20/20 vision. One glance in the mirror brings the reality rushing back, which is why all reflective surfaces have been removed from our house.

Rather than try to combat the ravages of time by the normal route; eating properly, exercising, and getting 8 hours sleep per night, I shun these practices, choosing instead the life of fast food, sloth and insomnia. My efforts at counteracting the aging process include, but are not limited to, covering my wrinkles with tattoos, dressing like a goth pirate, and getting my wife drunk enough that her vision will be impaired enough to see me as Johnny Depp rather than Johnny Goodman......so far, so good.

I really do believe that age is just a number, but it seems that when that number creeps over 40, the body goes into full deniability and attempts to crush that belief into dust. I'm sticking with it though, and I will bet than when my frame does give it up and renders me incapable of doing my current job, I will become a fully inked Wal-Mart greeter welcoming you to the store with a hearty, "AHOY!!"

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