Friday, January 13, 2012

January 13th, 2011 Top 10

These are the items that are trending at Yahoo as I write...please remember that all insults and snide remarks are meant in fun, but if you must flame me, then prepare to be slaughtered tomorrow....cheers.

  1. Danica Patrick - The GoDaddy girl, and part-time race car driver, has claimed that she is channeling the honey badger for the upcoming Daytona 500. That's great news should a hive of bees happen to get trapped in the car. I can hear the crew chief now, "She's been stung...she's been bitten."
  2. Viola Davis - Congratulations to the "The Help" actress, who won big at the Critic's Choice Awards. The movie also scored big, beating out 4 other movies that no-one else but the critics have seen.
  3. Sausage and Cancer - It seems that the delicious breakfast treats of sausage and bacon may increase your risk of pancreatic cancer by as much as 19%. That's of course assuming that you don't have a massive, grease induced coronary first.
  4. Diana DeGarmo - The former American Idol contestant has proclaimed her love for another former AI alum, Ace Young. They claim it was "Hair" that brought them together, with Young claiming to be "sold" when he saw a naked DeGarmo rehearsing the part. I'm assuming their ideas of "Hair" being the catalyst for their love may differ a little in translation.
  5. Internet Addiction - It has been revealed that an obsession with surfing will actually cause changes to the brain that are the same as those addicted to drugs or alcohol. Brings a whole new meaning to high speed.
  6. Kate Beckinsale - The English actress stars in the critically panned "Contraband" which opens in theater this week. The good news is that she will shortly be back as Selene in the latest Underworld vampire flick, which is at least a role where she is expected to suck.
  7. Bill Murray - The trailer for his latest movie "Moonrise Kingdom" shows the quirky funnyman wielding a rather large axe. What isn't shown in the trailer is Mr. Murray attacking the lastest script for Ghostbusters 3 with said axe.
  8. Jeff Fisher - The former Titans' coach has finally decided to take the Rams coaching position over that of the Miami Dolphins. As a Scotsman I applaud his decision to choose a sheep over all the other animal options in the NFL.
  9. Atlanta Boat Show - A 200,000 gallon water tank collapsed and flooded the area where the show was to take place. This caused a 4 hour delay as ship captain's steered their vessels back to their original display areas at the Georgia World Congress Center.
  10. New Laptops - It appears that the new theme for laptops in 2012 is "thinner, lighter, and more luxurious." I smell a laptop tie-in with Trojan Condoms people.
I hope to be back with another top 10 tomorrow, and on a personal note I'd like to thank the scientist who made that internet addiction discovery. You have just saved me a fortune on beer and crack.

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