Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Penny Drops

I AM AFRAID!! No, it's not because Halloween is right around the corner and the creepy crawlers are set to make an appearance. It's because the day after the costumes are packed away and the sugar high has gone, it will be time to start National Novel Writing Month.

It's been a couple of years now, but I can still clearly remember sitting at our humble little dining room table, looking at Penny, and asking, "What should I do."

I have been writing for as long as I remember, but I had finally taken the step of trying to make a little bit of money doing so. It was starting to pay off, but the demand for my services made working a full-time job seem like an inconvenience. There was never any hesitation or doubt in her voice when she replied that I should quit and write full-time. My wife is a woman who puts everyone else first and who does all she can to make sure that I am happy. She only ever harps at me when I am off my meds and not behaving as well as I can. I call it nagging with a purpose, whereas she will describe it as looking after the man she loves.

I love what I do now, but there are days when the things that I write become a chore. You can only talk about foot fungus, new cars, or wrapping paper for so long before you start to feel as though your creativity is slowly but surely slipping away. When those days hit, Penny will nag once more, telling me to take a break and write about something that does excite and inspire me. I try, but since I don't get paid to do that, I become distracted and give up.

And so we come to NaNoWriMo, which is something I have always wanted to do, but have been too afraid to get into. It's not the idea of writing 50,000 in 30 days that seems big, especially since I usually triple or quadruple that amount in the average month, but rather the fact that I want to do this so badly and fear that I will fail. The story i plan on writing is one that I have had in my head for more than 2 years now, and is one that I know will stay off the page if I don't commit to this.

I'd find an excuse to back out now where it not for my wife. She believes in everything that I do, even when I feel as though it's all crashing down around me. She lends encouragement when needed, but will not sugar coat her criticism if I do something half-assed. That is how she views my short stories. They were all created as small ideas that I would build into something bigger, yet have left untouched. She knows this, and as much as I sense her pride when she reads what I write, I also see the tinge of disappointment that there isn't more.

I never want to disappoint that women, because there hasn't been a single moment in out time together when she has left me feeling that way. And so November 1st will come and I will tap away until the word count hits 50,000. I don't know how the finished tale will look or read, but when it's done, I know that I will look at my wife and see that I have made her happy. What else is there to live for?


Paul O'Flaherty said...

You can do it mate, and it it will be f'n awesome :D

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